We live in the golden age of manly cooking. Across our great land, manly men are frying whole turkeys, using power tools to inject cheese into hot dogs, and tenderizing steak by blowing meat out of cannons.
One person had the vision to take manly cooking to its logical conclusion. Writing in Reddit, Oelund described how to fry bacon with a 7.62 mm machine gun.
In the comments sections, he said he was partially inspired by stories of British soldiers boiling tea with their automatic weapons in WW I. Boiling water is a good way of making sure what you are drinking is healthy (securing potable water can be a problem in a war zone).
However, manly men don’t care about health! We want bacon! (Come to think of it, if you’re the kind of guy who uses automatic weapons to cook, health may not be your number 1 priority anyway.)
Below are the photos and instructions Oelund posted. With its discussion of whether America is falling behind in the bacon race and the most economical machine gun to use for cooking, the comments section is worth reading.
I’ve discovered a new way of cooking bacon. All you need is: bacon, tin foil, some string, and.. oh whats it called?… oh yeah, an old worn out 7.62mm machinegun that is about to be discarded, and about 200 rounds of ammunition.
You start by wrapping the barrel in tin foil. Then you wrap bacon around it, and tie it down with some string.
you then wrap some more tin foil around it, and once again tie it down with string.
It is now ready to be inserted into the cooking device. I ripped the tin foil a little bit getting the barrel inserted. that part of the bacon got severely burned by hot gasses.
After just a few short bursts you should be able to smell the wonderful aroma of bacon.
I gave this about 250 rounds. but I think around 150 might actually be enough. But then again I don’t mind when bacon is crispy. Ahh the smell of sizzling bacon mixed with the smell of gunpowder and weapon oil.
And the end result: Crispy delicious well done bacon.
Note: AMREL advocates responsible use of high-powered firearms and does not recommend using machine guns to cook bacon or anything else. Although, we’ll think you’re cool if you do so.